oh.oh.oh.
the whole world changed in an instant. im on my way to LA in a few hours. i packed my whole life in the biggest suitcase ive ever seen. not my whole life. a big piece is still missing. and i know i said i would walk away. but i lied. weather or not ive been left permanently erased remains to be seen. but today is about other things. things beyond (non?)romantic melodrama. ive never been to California or las vegas and im worried about my wardrobe. what does a girl who lives in new england and dresses like a vampire, even in the summer, bring to wear in the desert. im going to worry about this to keep from worrying about the modicum of other things i can/should be. cause im excited and would prefer to keep it that way. yesterday everything was different and tomorrow who knows what will take place. this is the life i live for. i hate being bored. i miss him. i struggle with this idea of being a strong person. what makes me strong. leaving forever? that doesnt seem right to me somehow. or it is and im shielding my weakness with tampered logic. but again this is not where my focus should be so i digress. it really is the biggest suitcase ive ever seen. im glad it has wheels. i still dont have my hotel information. but i think everything is going to be ok.
Love, L.
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