sad. sad. sad.

I've been trying so hard to not let myself down. to do the right thing. to be capable and strong. but i just feel defeated. i cant hold back all this shit i haven't been dealing with anymore.

i was thrown away.

how do you begin to deal with something like that.

today i was thrown away again.

i cant even speak. I'm devastated. how do people operate their lives this way. i just cant fathom wanting to hurt somebody so much. for such petty reasons. i want to be brave. i want to not care. but how can i not. its rejection from existence.

I'm emotionally exhausted by the psychological effect this is having on my potent neurosis. i trust too easily. I'm too naive. and everyone thinks I'm mean. when do i just give up completely.

L